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Divorce Mediation
The life-altering
decision to end a marriage can be at once traumatic, stressful,
freeing, frightening, and intense for the couple. When children
are involved, the same experiences affect them, though at
different levels.
Divorce mediation (a.k.a. marital mediation) which usually
culminates in marital dissolution works to ease some of the
pain, lessen the emotional and financial impact, and help
the couple learn ways to communicate about present and future
decisions that affect the entire family. Some research, in
fact, shows a success rate of 85-90% (Vogel 1999, Los Angeles
Mediation Center, 2003) allowing couples to:
- end the marriage peacefully
- learn to communicate respectfully
- ease some of the trauma to the children involved
- learn effective problem-solving methods for future decisions
that may still have to be made as children age or other
variables enter in.
| NCS staff includes psychologists,
counselors, mediators, and attorneys to assist at any
level of family need. |
| Frequently asked questions... |
How do I start
the divorce mediation process?
• When a couple calls the office, we always ask
if they have had counseling. If there is even a flicker
of hope that the marriage can be salvaged, we want to
assist by offering marriage counseling. Many couples,
however, have tried counseling and have made the decision
to end the marriage.
• We offer a FREE consult or free seminar offered
monthly entitled “Without Becoming Enemies.”
Information is given to the couple about average length
of time, costs, and the process involved in marital
mediation.
• The mediator gives the couple “homework”
papers to complete if they choose to proceed with the
mediation. The couple gathers information about their
financial portfolio as well as preliminary ideas about
how to split their material assets.
• A first session begins by bringing in the completed
paperwork and beginning the formal mediation. |
Do couples ever
change their minds once mediation has begun?
• In 10% of cases, couples decide to stop mediation
and give their marriage another attempt. Some report that
this is the first time in years they have spoken calmly
to each other, and they believe they can continue to do
so with the new skills they learned early in the mediation
process.
• In 5% of these cases, couples successfully
remain happily married. The other 5% often returns to
complete the mediation. |
What if I want to
consult an attorney?
Attorneys are optional. Many persons in mediation seek
legal advise throughout the process and many others use
an attorney at the end of the mediation to review the
documents, reformat them for the court, complete other
court forms, and help the couple file if they are unfamiliar
with the court system. Some use no legal help at all.
Either way is fine with us. |
When are mediations
inappropriate?
We generally do not mediate cases in which:
• One party clearly dominates the other or has unparalleled
financial sophistication over the spouse
• Domestic violence exists (there
are rare exceptions)
• There is ongoing psychological abuse or serious
mental illness |
How long does mediation
take?
• The average length of time for
mediation is 4 to 6 sessions, each lasting one to two
hours. For couples with uncomplicated portfolios or no
children, fewer sessions are needed.
• Variables
affecting length of time include the presence of minor
children, complex financial situations, and the amount
of arguing or disagreements a couple has. |
What about costs?
• Mediators charge an hourly fee. NCS mediators
generally charge $120 per hour for divorce, family, and
elder mediation and $60 per hour for document preparation.
• Any attorney fees are separate.
• Insurance
does not cover mediation. This is an out-of-pocket expense,
payable at the time of service. |
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