At first I thought I should have written this column in January to celebrate Martin Luther King Day. That’s like thinking I should only think about Jesus in December to celebrate Christmas and forget about being Christian the rest of the year. So, to continue awareness of MLK’s legacy, I chose to write for the February issue a column on teaching our children about diversity.

Diversity is a word that is defined in many ways. It used to refer mainly to race or ethnic relations; today it can additionally refer to gender, religious beliefs, communication styles, ability to learn, sexual orientation, parental status, attitudes, career experience… you name it. In schools, the word inclusion is also used with a broader interpretation than in the past.

Bottom line: how do we begin teaching our children to celebrate differences (or to state it positively: to celebrate more what we have in common), when most cultures crave sameness? How do I get excited about the notion of change when as humans we so want this fast-paced life of ours to simmer down into something more homeostatic?

A friend and colleague of mine, Debra Day, who also conveniently is a diversity trainer whose brain I could pick for this article, gave me a few suggestions. As a married African American woman with two biracial children and living in an affluent almost all-white neighborhood, the issue of diversity/inclusion has come up at more than one dinner conversation. Here are some tips Debra passes on for helping parents (of all colors) teach diversity regarding race relations to their children:

• Invite people of color whom you know to your home for dinner. What better way to get to know
  someone than in a relaxed environment.
• Attend multicultural events so that children can see that different ethnic groups have rich and interesting histories
• Buy a cookbook that reflects recipes from other cultures and let your children help you in the
  preparation
• When you hear your child speaking in a way that disrespects others who are different, correct him/her
• Watch movies and TV shows that reflect families of different ethnic backgrounds
• Read about accomplished people of other ethnic groups from your own and share with your children
• Avoid stereotyping. We all know how much and how quickly children pick up on our words and our attitudes
• Speak with your children often about respecting diversity
• Use the “Platinum Rule”… Do unto others as they would like it done unto them

Debra Day adds, “A great way to teach children about diversity is reflected in this exercise: When life hands you a lemon, peel it. We often think that teaching children about diversity is a long and difficult task. However, it can be as simple as peeling a lemon.”

Activity: (can be used at home with neighborhood children or in schools/churches)
Materials needed:

• Bowl of lemons (enough for 1 per child)
• Knife (adult use only)
• Wet-naps!

Process:

1. Gather group of children and give each one a lemon.
2. Ask children to get to know your lemon. Smell it, touch it, roll it, throw it in the air, notice any
   markings or dents.
3. Collect all the lemons, and place them back in the bowl. Ask the children to find their lemons among the bunch and take it back.
4. Ask the children how they recognized their lemons. Children might reply, “Mine was the biggest.” “Mine had 2 dents.” “Mind had a few tiny spots at the bottom.”
5. Launch a discussion about how people are just like these lemons: different shapes, sizes, shades of color, different “dents and bruises.” Ask children for examples of differences they see in school, at church, on the playground, in the neighborhood, on the bus.
6. Collect the lemons a second time. This time, peel the lemons and return them to the bowl without their protective skins. Now ask the children to again find their lemon. They may say, “But they all look the same!” This opens the door to discuss how people, too, are just the same inside, even though they look so different on the outside.

“While it may take 15 minutes and a bowl of lemons to teach young people about diversity,” says Day, “it takes a conscious effort and a lifetime of attention to ensure that this lesson is remembered. As parents, we must provide that commitment.”

Patti Bertschler is a licensed counselor and trained mediator in her Independence-based practice, Northcoast Conflict Solutions.